January 2012
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This morning was horrible. Pretty much my plan was to stay home since I didn’t have a car, but Lisa gave in and let me use it. I was out of the house a little before five, but there was not enough gas to go anywhere. I called my mom to see if I could borrow some cash, but she wasn’t close. I had to drive to my grandma’s house for cash just to get to the gas station. I parked...
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“Peace does not mean to be where there is no trouble or noise, but to be in the...”
– Lady Gaga
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One Wish for 2012
My only wish for 2012 is that this year is filled with lots of happiness, hope, love, and opportunities. I’d like 2012 to be positive.
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December 2011
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Kelly and Ryan’s relationship is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. It’s so dysfunctional that it makes me feel better about my own love life.
I am very annoyed.
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“I used to play World of Warcraft, but then I took a vagina to the dick.”
– Tiffany
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I feel very lucky to have my best friend sometimes. It’s nice having someone so caring in my life.
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Anonymous asked: Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night to someone else's penis on your forehead and just went back to sleep?
Anonymous asked: Have you ever put your penis on someones face, to make it look like a mustache, and taken a picture of it?
Anonymous asked: Have you ever clubbed a baby giraffe with your penis?
Anonymous asked: Is your penis bigger than 6 inches?
Anonymous asked: Do you have a wiener?
Let’s play “yes” or “no.” You ask me questions on...
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I wish my grandma would wear her fake boob on special occasions.
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“One of my greatest pet peeves is women who infantilize themselves in real...”
– Mindy Kaling - Is Everyone Hanging Out without Me? (And Other Concerns)
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I’m renaming my blog to Ice Cream Castles in the Air: One Single Gal Hopes for Prince Charming.
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I hate everyone. If you need me, I’ll be hiding under a very heavy rock that crushes every bone in my body.
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There’s nothing sexier than Angelina Jolie holding a gun.
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Two Memorable Moments from 2011
My first real experience with intimacy.
Bro weekend.
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Marriage is a joke these days. Poor kids. And gays. Seriously, marriage is such a joke these days that Christians should just back down and let gays have it, too. It might help lower the divorce rate.
There should seriously be a test or something. You have to pass a written exam about your partner in order to marry them, and you must be happily married for x-amount of years before you are allowed...